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Clinical psychologist Dr. Ananya Mehra insists that what society classifies as toxic behavior—manipulation, gaslighting, consistent criticism, emotional volatility, or narcissism—seldom grows in a vacuum, as she explains. These patterns are survival tactics in most instances, which are influenced by experience in life in the early years.

The root that she describes as the most prevalent is the unresolved childhood trauma or neglect. Children of unpredictable, invalidating, or abusive backgrounds tend to be taught that being vulnerable is like being dangerous. To maintain themselves, they build up defensive armaments: keeping others away by keeping them in check, blaming the partner, and cycling through charm and revaluation in order to help sustain the image of themselves as weak.

Other significant factors are low self-worth and insecurity. Most of the toxic personalities have a deep-seated feeling of being unlovable or incomplete. They do not internalize these emotions, and instead they project pain out in the form of blame, entitlement, or superiority, which are typical narcissistic defense mechanisms. Push-pull and jealousy or emotional withholding are further supported by attachment wounds (particularly anxious and avoidant styles).

Dr. Mehra emphasizes that it is not warranted to understand the origins before committing harm. Responsibility is still needed. The victim-blaming and not-enabling-abuse encouragement, however, can be achieved by acknowledging these behaviors as maladaptive coping and not essential evil.

A recovery can be done—but not commonly, but with assistance. Individuals can be assisted in rewiring these patterns (particularly through trauma-sensitive approaches, such as EMDR, schema therapy, or DBT) to help them develop secure attachments and abolish affect strategies of control and genuine connection.

Boundaries and distance are usually the healthiest for those who handle toxic people. Knowledge of the reasons that led to the toxicity will enable the survivors to move on instead of blaming oneself.

After all, toxic behavior is not about bad people, but rather about pain that is not healed and thus finds a way to release it by means of something unhealthy. Knowing this never alters the consequences, but it enlightens the line towards prevention and recovery by all concerned.